I'm always so off when I try to imagine things. Like when I sit down in class and start to think of what I'll say when it's my turn to present. I have it all planned out in my head. I know everyone here. I won't be nervous. What's the big deal? I just say these points and I'm done. No sweat.

It's always a sweat. The minute before I get called, my heart starts to beat at 180. I forget what to say. I forget how to form complete sentences or what I'm supposed to look at. I'm so out of it the entire time, I don't even remember what I said for my presentation.

I try to imagine what the person is like sitting next to me. She's quiet like me. She must be like me.

I start to imagine all kinds of crazy things. I think her favorite show is The Office and that she hasn't said a cuss word since 8th grade. I think that she's open-minded and likes silly things like robots and mouse guards. I think she must be nice because she's quiet. She doesn't say anything mean. She's like a loyal dog. Just sits there and keeps you company. That's all you really need.

But then she opens her mouth one day when you get there early to class. You hear her say something on her phone that's completely opposite of what you imagined. She might roll her eyes or say something negative about someone. Then you realize that she doesn't talk to anyone because she's just not interested.

There's the childhood dream that never turns out the way you imagine. Like the basketball court you're going to save up your money for in the side yard. Like your mom will even let you put one there. You get a few dollars, then you go to K-Mart and find anything you can afford and forget about the basketball court... until you watch Space Jam again. There's the dream of becoming an Olympic Gymnast. Taking private lessons all week just so you can quit someday because you just don't feel like it anymore. Or the big, pretty house up the street with the pool in the backyard. That's going to be you someday. You're going to be doing cannonballs all day and then fall asleep in your wet bathing suit, watching your favorite cartoon. You just can't wait until your next birthday.

There's ordering a big meal off the menu, only to find out you're sick to your stomach after eating so much. Not what you imagined when you saw the picture. There's lying in bed to fall asleep early, only to look at your clock and see it an hour past the time you normally fall asleep. There's falling in love and hoping it will last forever, then finding out it doesn't. There's begging someone to love you, then finding out someone already does.

Sometimes I feel like life is never how you imagine it. I kind of give up on thinking too seriously about my future, because I really won't know until I get there. I might dream of a red front door and end up with a green one, but that's okay. As long as there's a door there.

So, even though I said I give up on imagining, I still want to right now for entertainment's sake. And this is what I do when I try to avoid homework, cleaning, and/or washing my face. Okay, so, what will Leslie Paige Martinez be like one year from now, on October 2, 2009? This is my prediction, and in one year from now I will write how I really am.

October 2, 2009: Unknown

Basics:
Brown hair, shoulder length
No glasses
Short, plain fingernails
Size 2 clothing
Size 6 1/2 shoe size
No scars
Same necklace my mom got me for xmas
dark eyebrows

Identities:
In a relationship
straight
Baha'i
liberal
USF Graduate School - 2nd fall semester
ACSA Cohort Liaison
Part of the CLCE in some way

Abstract:
I'm not really sure what I'll be like. I know a few things. I know I'll be female, Baha'i, and short. I'll volunteer more. I'll be in my final year of Graduate school and I will have already seen three states or more: Georgia, South Carolina, Tennessee, and an unknown. I will be changed by one of those experiences. Something bad will happen to me along the way; something good will happen to me along the way. I'm being very vague here, but that's all I can imagine right now. I'll be with Peter and we'll still play online Scrabble. I'll be good friends with Colleen, Amanda, and Melissa. I'll still hang out with Monkey and Rafia. I'll be living on my own, with Catsby and Pancakes, and struggling financially. I'll have opened up a retirement savings account though. I'll still be picking at my lips and my skin. I'll have gone through a new phase, probably something to do with wanting new technology. I'll have read more Chuck Palahnuik, and I will have realized the world is stranger than I thought. I'll have seen snow and built a snowman. I'll regret something, change something, and make something. I'll... imagine more later. I'm tired right now.